My mother had 3 kids. Growing up I thought for sure she couldn't love me, my brother, and my sister all equally. She clearly loved me the most. No, actually Doug because he was the baby. Okay, actually Laura because she was the oldest (why else would she have gotten to do all the stuff I wanted to do..."because she's the oldest"...that's lame). Okay, so clearly she did a pretty good job of hiding who her favorite was. But I always knew she had a favorite (even if I didn't know who that person was).
But now that I have 3 kids I know that she didn't have a favorite. And she loved us all equally. Before Ethan was born I was so worried because I couldn't imagine splitting the love I had for Blythe in 2. That's not how it works though. And I loved Ethan just as much as I loved Blythe. Yet I still worried again before I had Brynn. But again I see how love is complicated and unexplainable. All I know is there is NOTHING I wouldn't do for any of my children.
But just because I love Blythe and Ethan a lot doesn't mean I don't feel guilty for spending the time I need to spend with Brynn. I need to feed Brynn and hold her and nurture her. And I LOVE doing it. But I wish I could also spend more time with Blythe and Ethan. And I know that time will come. In the meantime I wish things would slow down. I wish life wasn't so stressful and things were just simpler.
But things aren't going to slow down and life won't get any simpler. So I will settle on enjoying the little things and taking a few moments each day to feel grateful for all that I have. Happy Friday!
2 comments:
sniff, sniff - I agree, time is moving too fast!
I asked Laura which of my kids I loved the most and without hesitation she said "Me". Then I asked which one of Gaumy's kids Gaumy loved the most and she said "you, Mom."
Mom
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