I smell poop

So my week of chaos continued into today. I have a project going live today on the west coast, so I'm probably still not done for the week. But the kids have to be picked up from day care by 5:30, so there's not much else I can do but leave my computer, go get the kids, and attempt to function the rest of the evening by blackberry. Braden is out of town for a swim meet, so really, there are no other alternatives.

So anyway, during the summer in Blacksburg on Friday evenings they have a free summer concert. The music is usually mediocre at best, but the kids get to run around with other kids and enjoy being outside. It was cancelled the last 2 weeks due to rain, but today it was beautiful - partly cloudy and about 75 degrees. So we packed a picnic dinner to take with us. Of course the kids begged for all of the food I was putting in the cooler as I was putting it in, so I held them off with a few snacks (while dreaming of a nice big glass of wine for myself). FINALLY we were about ready to go.

Then I smelled poop.

Of course Ethan has to poop every time we're just about to go somewhere. But I guess that's better than waiting until we get somewhere that's not home. So after a 2 minute argument with him, I finally get him to lay down to change him. And then of course, Blythe says she needs to go to the bathroom. We'll never get out of the house!

Anyway, I was surprised to find Ethan's hadn't pooped. Man, he can have some stinky farts. But I change him anyway and yell at Blythe to hurry up. That's when I hear her crying in the bathroom.

So I go in there and the first thing I see is that the toilet is FULL of toilet paper. Coming out the sides. Everywhere. Ugh! Then I notice she's standing next to the toilet with her underwear around her ankles and it's full of poop. "Mommy! I pooped in my pants!" she's crying. "It's on my legs!" There's small specs of poop on her legs, but apparently she doesn't care about the mass of poop still stuck to her butt. I help her get her shoes off so we can carefully remove the underwear without getting poop everywhere. Then I try to remove some of the toilet paper from the toilet so MAYBE it will flush. It did. Thank goodness! About this time, Ethan comes in and is showing quite the interest in the poopy underwear. So I'm yelling at him to get out. And Blythe's crying that she still has poop on her legs. And I have this underwear in my hands that's full of poop. And I think I saw that Bogie peed a little just outside of the bathroom. What to do first?

I throw away the underwear. I'll be damned if I'm going to clean that out. Not worth it. Then I clean the potty area so Ethan doesn't touch poop. Then I clean up Bogie's mess (which turned out not to be pee...probably was apple juice). Then I make it around to having to clean up Blythe. And as I do I realize she must have pooped well before she ever went to the bathroom. I had thought she just couldn't get her clothes off fast enough, but now I'm confused. So it's really stuck on there pretty good. Have to use like at least 10 wipes. Oh, incredibly disgusting! I run upstairs to get Blythe some new clothes, leaving both kids crying at the baby gate at the bottom because I won't let them come up with me. Blythe gets her new clothes on, we get our shoes on, and FINALLY make it to the car.

We make it to campus, park, set up camp, then find out there is no band. No music.

Well, I packed a picnic dammit, and we actually made it here. So we had our picnic and enjoyed the nice weather while I answered work phone calls non-stop at 7:30 at night. What a lovely Friday!