Friends

It's amazing how quickly kids can make friends. Blythe could be at a McDonalds playland and meet someone who, 10 minutes later, might as well be her best friend. My kids changed day cares and each instantly had a classroom full of new friends. When I was young, my best friend lived next door to me until we moved when I was 5. 2 months after we moved, I started kindergarten and met my new best friend on our first day of kindergarten. We moved to North Carolina when I was 10. Through swim team and school, I had lots and lots of friends. After I graduated from high school, I went to college, recruited to be on the swim team. On that first day of college (actually 2 days before the first day), I met the 50 people I would be friends with for the next 4 years. There was no effort involved in making friends. It just happened.

I'm sure we've all had similar experiences.

Then we graduate and enter the working world. In my case, I moved to a state and city I had never been to. I was lucky enough to move with my best friend, my partner, to the new and scary place. But making NEW friends? Hits you like a damn sledgehammer that making friends is hard. We lived in a city of 8 million people and met very few friends in that time we lived in Chicago (though I do have to say that the few we met are keepers).

After a brief stint in Tennessee, we moved here to Blacksburg. I've worked from home for the past 8 years, so meeting new people wasn't so easy. I relied on Braden to meet people I could also hang with. We had fun times, but I didn't share a lot in common with most of the people we hung out with. Then we had Blythe and I REALLY didn't have much in common with the people we were hanging with.

3 and a half years ago Blythe met Ashley at her day care. Almost instantly, they were best friends. Through that relationship I met Amy, Ashley's mom. We talked some at pickup or dropoff and on field trips. She had just had Luke when we met and I was pregnant with Ethan. Eventually we arranged for some playdates. It was nice to have another woman I could have adult conversation with, someone I had something in common with, a friend.

After a while we started walking together at lunch time, then added some Zumba classes. Because I work from home and don't talk to many people during the day, the hour walk/social time for me was great! A huge mid-day stress reliever.

Over the past 3 and a half years, Amy has become my best friend here in Blacksburg (well, best female friend since Braden is my true best friend). Ashley and Blythe are inseparable and now even Luke and Ethan are best buds. Amy keeps me stable. Brings over dinner when Braden is out of town and I've had a rough week of work and kids. Gives me advice about what to expect as my kids grow older (she has 2 other boys that are 10 and 8). Let's me drop off my kids at her house so I can do a trip to Wal-mart by myself. Made me stay in shape when I was pregnant with Brynn. Even walked with me, slowly (like snails pace), when I was 8 months pregnant. Brought a peach milkshake to the hospital after I had Brynn.

A little over a month ago, Amy took a job in Indiana and she started 2 weeks ago. So she has moved away. Her family is still here while the house is on the market, the kids are finishing school, and her husband looks for a job in Indiana. I'm dreading when Ashley and Luke move away and they all finally understand what, "we're moving to Indiana and it's far, far away" really means. But for now Blythe and Ethan's best friends are still here.

Doesn't seem very fair that it takes so long to make a great friend and then things change. But we'll still be friends forever. I'm sure we'll take trips together as families. So we'll never lose touch, but we just won't see each other everyday.

We both have found we need each other's motivation to keep on walking at lunch time. So we're keeping the walk and talk method going. Just by phone instead. We schedule a time we can both walk and then we chat the whole time. If I didn't have that, I'd sit in my work chair all day long. So far it's working for us!

Miss you Amy!